also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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