Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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