You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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