I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So vagazzling was a success
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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