Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize