What did we do last night that was yellow?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
