So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
