What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Randomize