Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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