someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
