big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
