Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize