I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
