can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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