chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
