Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
