let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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