Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
