How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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