is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
