..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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