I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
