so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
