So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize