He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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