I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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