is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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