i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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