We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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