so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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