the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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