I'm pants shitting drunk right now
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just invented taco cereal.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
