I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Randomize
