I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
