32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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