singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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