I want to have your abortion
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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