I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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