so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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