this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize