a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
