Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
