I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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