My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Randomize