You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize