why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
