Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
