the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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