Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
