I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
