Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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