Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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