I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
