I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
