I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
