i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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