Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
