Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
