he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect