You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Ladies don't puke and tell